today

today is the only free day in July that has all 24 hours belonging to me. all the other days have been spent hanging out(thanks dear friends for being such great company), in school, having a beautiful japanese Fender Telecaster slung around me, or underwater.

so, after the obligated delayed wake up, i realize that i probably have to grasp the slightly-less-than-2-weeks of free days that i have. i'm currently not very sure how i'm going to spend them, but i do know that FISHING will be one of the much coveted activities, regardless of what i do or do not catch.

but most importantly, i have to figure out how i have to spend my free days for God's sake. it's funny how i don't know what i'm supposed to do after the whole 'picking up the cross' thing, which i'm not even sure i will remember to do. in fact, it's such an obscure thing, sometimes.

1 key thing i managed to take away from the campus crusade camp was another reminder of how God is not the distant cosmic manipulator i keep imagining him to be. honestly, it's hard to stop thinking of Him that way because of how people keep saying 'don't worry, God is in control' whenever my days are down the drain. so i guess we of this faith will have to keep coming back to the same things once in a while.

You have kept count of my tossings;

put my tears in your bottle.

Are they not in your book?

Psalms 56:8

postdive musings

so,

my instructor was extremely menopausal

there were absolutely NO turtle sightings(thank YOU planetscuba for wrecking my turtle sighting streak)

there were absolutely NO pretty girls too(quite a common phenomenon, i find)

i lost a mask(my own fault and stupidity, by the way anyone wants to accompany me to get a replacement mask for planetscuba?)

the beach was a bi... ok nevermind. suffice to say, it was not a beach. it was TINY. it's just a patch of sand

the boat ride was rather seasick inducing

the stupid shower actually ran out of water at the end when everyone was rushing for a bath. imagine the misery!

all in all, the worst dive trip i have ever had. talk about getaway, i couldn't wait to get the hell away from pulau aur.

ok now on to the good stuff :

my bouyancy control is improving! cheers to that! can act pro now and hover upside down for a bit

i saw flying fish! a whole school skipping in and out of the water!

night dive is an experience everyone should try, regardless of what you do or do not manage to see. the best part was when we turned our torches off and waved our hands: the agitated bioluminescent plankton would give an irritated glow. in english, when we waved our hands, it looked like there were sparks in the water. veeryyy preeeeettyyy!

a getaway is a getaway nonetheless. managed to take a nice break from everything and just concentrate on diving

ok i got a tan. i think i sound like i'm running out of reasons here, but i did get a tan!

so, on to the more important stuff.

admittedly, i HAVE lost that sense of amazement and wonder during this dive trip. which is quite a pity, really. but i DID ponder, among other things, how ironic that God would ostensibly hide this seemingly insane myriad of colours and their combinations from our eyes, and conceal it underwater, only for a few to see.

it's rather mind boggling, that when WE are the fishes out of water(pun intended), we observe for a moment what goes on everyday ever since time began, and we end up getting blown away, marveling at its beauty.

the question on my mind was: how much more is there? how much more before i could actually disbelieve what would be before my eyes. now i start to imagine better how the israelites could not bear to behold God's glory. perhaps there ARE things that are too amazing, and too beautiful.

it's an immense pity, that people could scuba dive their whole life, and ignore the obvious fact that the very beautiful creations were handcrafted by an even more beautiful God.

i hope never to ever go back to aur again. i'll settle, at the very least, for Dayang. but i want to go back for diving now that i have my advanced open water certificate!!

For you make me glad by your deeds, O Lord;

I sing for joy at the works of your hands.

How great are your works, O Lord,

how profound your thoughts!

The senseless man does not know,

fools do not understand,

that though the wicked spring up like grass

and all evildoers flourish

they will be forever destroyed

Psalm 92: 4-7

pre-dive musings

so before i go for my long awaited dive trip, i think i should just mention a couple of things

first to christine(the real one, in case the fake one is reading this), for making me look and sound so glamorous in her blog.

second, that i HOPE my handphone has been found. it's so sad that i feel a piece of myself is missing. but with that dive trip around the corner i doubt i'll be missing the handphone that much

3rd, to the awesome company today. didn't really miss my handphone with these lovely people around(own up on my tagboard if you see this!)

hopefully when i'm back i'll be able to write something arty farty dreamy creamy about diving and God! i always wanted to but could never put it in words.

mind:blank

right, so there's nothing on my mind now, but i feel the urge to post something. so by hook or by crook, i'll fish out something from my head!

aha so here it is: 

ok wait my mind's pretty much a blank. 

aha ok

so my cousin's cousin was explaining to me, after i complained to him about the way the rich were hoarding their wealth, that the problem with AFRICA had a lot to do with their leadership. 

because their resources were tangible things(diamonds, minerals), unlike singapore, which is our so-called talent, their way to success was to FIGHT for said resources. and hence, the corruption, the poor staying poor, the president suddenly getting very rich and disappearing, the CIVIL WARS. 

so what does that have to do with africa being poor? 

the instability of the country and its economy.

hence that rich old white man doesn't even want to set up his sweat shop in zimbabwe because it might get torn down to bits and pieces in a few months. 

and the problem with that is (correct me if i'm wrong all you econs people) that once a shop gets torn down, it means that the $x it took to set up the shop is just wiped off the face of the earth. although money is being printed like mad nowadays, i guess the fact that the money disappears isn't diminished by that.

ok enough of all that rhetoric. told you i'd dig something up. just came back from a bjj class so i'm pretty much blank in my head(although some of you would propose that it's been that way all along).

so, it's time to GRAB SOME SHUTEYE. GOODNIGHT

what goes on during msn

chows. | Theos ein αγάπη | of things that sting 
eh gimme 1 more week

can get the ragamuffin gospel to you

BUT i recommend you be impatient

and borrow it from the library

11:01

Norah Johnes - No venue no talk! 
haha!

11:01

chows. | Theos ein αγάπη | of things that sting 
it's worth going all the way to national library to borrow it

11:01

Norah Johnes - No venue no talk! 
library got ah

11:01

chows. | Theos ein αγάπη | of things that sting 
but i dunno if it's there

ya have

if you're lucky it's not on loan

but it's quite an old book

11:01

Norah Johnes - No venue no talk! 
i check now

11:01

chows. | Theos ein αγάπη | of things that sting 
eh i tell you, i really think you will cry

11:02

Norah Johnes - No venue no talk! 
ok

so far no book has made me cry

hm maybe my physics textbook

hahhaa

and the bible

what really matters

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus, 
You can have all this world, 
But give me Jesus

When I am alone
When I am alone
When I am alone, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus, 
Give me Jesus, 
You can have all this world, 
But give me Jesus

When I come to die
When I come to die
When I come to die, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus, 
Give me Jesus, 
You can have all this world, 
You can have all this world, 
You can have all this world, 
But give me Jesus

this is like, the ultimate funeral song(such a great tune + Brooke Fraser sang it).

on a more sombre note, it started to make me contemplate all over again what really matters. 

and the scary thing is that it's hard to tell when you're drifting away from God because you're(at least ME) busy enjoying and also busy enjoying being busy.

so it's a rather terrifying thought, that at the end of the road, we might find ourselves in a very different destination from where we intended to end up, all simply because we took a minor wrong turn along the way, and never bothered to turn back. 

and it led us further 

and further

and further away.

surely going to church isn't enough.

singing songs isn't enough

saying and doing the right things isn't enough.

desiring God seems to be the 2 magical words here.

but now i'm not sure that's enough. because somewhere along the way, we might end up getting mistaken in our pursuit.

and come on, we're human, how long can we desire God for?

surely we need to pick ourselves up once(not if) we fall.

i don't think simple words can tell anyone what's enough to stay on this straight and narrow path. 

recently wilfred(a nice friend who happens to be quite tall) told me he and eunice(a nice friend who's very nice to laugh at) met with a car crash. eunice(women drivers heehee) lost control of the car and it FLIPPED OVER TWICE and landed upright. they got away with mere cuts and bruises. 

and so i'm wondering what if i'm one of them, but i was not fortunate enough to escape death? 

right now i can say that i'm pretty much ok with it; life is great because i have Jesus.

but oh man, it's gonna suck, to have to leave behind so many things. 

what's scary is to wander away from God. and because i've friends who are away from God now, i don't dare to tilt my head back and laugh at the possibility of that thought. 

so i hope that for those of you who are reading this, we WILL stay in this faith and receive that promised crown of righteousness(ok it feels weird to use such big words) 

15 Aug

hi, for those of you who have seen this, you are obliged to spend ten bucks on(for actually, but on sounds more loving and caring) me! my church is having a fun fair on 15th Aug. I was supposed to get dunked at first, which suddenly made the event neither fun nor fair for me, HOWEVER, SMU decided to have their convocation event on 15th Aug as well, and I, a freshman, am somehow involved in it. SO, I CANNOT GET DUNKED. GET OVER IT LADIES, NO WET T SHIRT ON ME! 

however, i suspect that with some emotional blackmail and arm twisting(maybe literally) i might get forcefully dunked. but anyway, a little self glorifying is going to follow in the ensuing paragraph.

MY BAND ROCKS!

ok it's done. honestly, it does! i'm proud to say i'm the guy in my band who pulls everyone down-everyone is so good at what they do, and since we have 2 guitarists, obviously i'm lousy cos JUSTIN CHAN IS SO MUCH BETTER. but we just grabbed Nina Natasha Naidu to sing for us-missing quite a few of us, but i really honestly do think we can pull off a decent gig.

so while i'll be performing for half an hour, the rest of the band will carry on without me. do enjoy yourselves at the fun fair, and spend lots of money on ME(this money will go directly to the church rebuilding fund) so my church can grow bigger and taller and deeper(literally, but hopefulyy spiritually too).

by the way, for those of you who are from my church, my cell group, you are not exempted from buying the tickets from me too. who ask you to keep stalking me.