something different

Simon

Catch your breath,
Hit the wall, 
Scream out loud, 
As you start to crawl 
Back in your cage 
The only place 
Where they will 
Leave you alone. 
'Cause the weak will 
Seek the weaker til they've broken them. 
Could you get it back again?
Would it be the same? 
Fulfillment to their lack of strength at your expense, 
Left you with no defense; 
They tore it down. 

(Chorus):
And I have felt the same as you, 
I've felt the same as you, 
I've felt the same. 

Locked inside 
The only place 
Where you feel sheltered, 
Where you feel safe. 
You lost yourself 
In your search to find 
Something else to hide behind. 

The fearful always preyed upon your confidence. 
Did they see the consequence,
when they pushed you around? 
The arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones, 
Breaking them 'til they've become just another crown. 

Refuse to feel anything at all,
Refuse to slip, 
Refuse to fall. 
Can't be weak, 
Can't stand still,
You watch your back 'cause no one will. 
You don't know why they had to go this far, 
Traded your worth for these scars, 
For your only company. 
And don't believe the lies 
That they have told to you. Not one word was true 
you're alright, you're alright, you're alright.

by Lifehouse

when i first heard this song(now on hindsight it sounds like a possible soundtrack for City of Angels) i knew it was one of those songs that was different. and so i couldn't listen out for the lyrics, mostly cos everyone around me was singing very loudly and out of tune, but not as bad as the overweight and overbearing bimbo wannabe happily screaming for Jason Wade(MARRY ME! AAAAHH!). maybe Jason Wade would be screaming(in horror) if he saw her demanding him to forfeit the rest of his life(and romantic dreams) to her. furthermore, i bet most of her screaming didn't reach Jason Wade cos it ended up in MY LEFT EAR. 

furthermore there was another guy who happily stood in front of me, conveniently being a head(a t-rex's head) taller than me. after introducing himself as Shawn/Shaun/Sean, he happily started grooving, giving an impression that he was either drunk, on drugs, mad, asking for a beating, or (most likely) all of them. it was quite funny how he looked like a happy pigeon with the unique and er, rather bollywood style of moving his head. oh well, at least he has a flexible neck. and most importantly, the opening act(Jack and Rai) managed to tire him out when Lifehouse started.

oh my, how i've digressed. deliberately.

but hey, for those of you who dunno yet, i just came back from a Lifehouse gig at Power Station at St James', my first time seeing what a club looks like. no clubbing involved, although i could say that a lot of us wanted to club Shawn/Shaun/Sean with anything and everything we could find. man, if only we had some clubbing. 

shucks, i've digressed again.

so, back, and fully devoted to Lifehouse. before Brooke Fraser came along, i think i probably thought Jason Wade wrote lyrics that i, with hot air, deemed high class enough.

this gig was really fantastic. i really wish i could have recorded it in my mind but it seems like i'm forgetting it. but lifehouse live is fantastic. really fantastic. even though they managed to attract a few psycho fans.

on a more sombre thought, i really hope i haven't been one of the arrogant weak mentioned in this song. i doubt it's being meaty beefcakes with tattoos, but more of oppressing different people, who usually are different because they are weird. well, Shawn/Shaun/Sean the pigeon was weird but he really didn't seem oppressed, depressed, and he definitely impressed nobody with his extreme enthusiasm.

after watching boy a, i'm starting to have a more empathic sympathy(or should it be sympathetic empathy?) for the outcasts. the thing is i always find myself on the apathetic side. and i really don't know how it would be like, to stand up for them, to be proud of being a weirdo's friend, to treat them the same as everyone. it's not as easy as it seems in the movies, where the weirdos are just quieter people. how easy is it when you're asked to put your arm around somebody who talks differently, has a complete set of interests that you may never have heard of, basically, someone you can't identify with? 

sometimes i wish i had cotton wool for brains. then i'd innocently befriend anyone and everyone, and treat them the same. but it's different when you want to be part of the crowd. 

so, i wonder how it would be like not to be part of the crowd. to be alone, but not lonely.