Tim and Jem, you guys KNOW you're jealous!

oh yeah you 2 guys know you're so jealous of me

so anyway, i just came back from a Tommy Emmanuel concert with Tim and Jem. and it was so  amazing. 

and the beautiful thing is, i met this beautiful caucasian girl with a lip stud, and she talked to us, but SPECIFICALLY TO ME. 

and she used a horrible pick up line! she asked 'excuse me, do you know where to get an afro wig?'

i mean, come on, can you believe someone would actually use such a random and horrible pickup line? and did i mention i'm totally nuts about pretty caucasian girls who have lip piercings, are shorter than me, and use totally random and horrible pickup lines? 

oh yeah i'm NUTS about them.

and so now tim and jem are sick with envy that she talked to ME. ME! and tim had to steal the attention away from me by telling her where to find afro wigs while i was soaking in the amazing moment where i've finally met my soul mate.

ah nothing like a little distortion of the truth. but hey, boys, please don't be jealous of me. man i really should have offered to BRING her to the party store or whatever. 

so, i guess the last gig of the year is over. and it was so amazing. 

i'm starting to realise that there seems to be no way i can ever lock any memories of gigs and replay them in my head. but i think the beauty of it is fleeting. and it's pretty amazing. sadly, i think i've only been to 2 official gigs, both of them this year and in this semester. but hey, it's Joe Satriani's fault for refusing to put on a show here. 

anyway, back to fleeting beauty. if i may roughly quote and summarize C.S Lewis and Donald Miller, one ironic constant of our human life is change. although C.S Lewis says that we fluctuate around a heavenbound path , while Donald Miller says that the beauty of change is to see how much we have changed once we have returned from a journey while others remain the same. ok i'm not quoting the exactly what they said, and i suspect i'm manipulating their words a little bit so i could get to my point. but what i'm trying to say is, hmmm.... oh well, i'm not sure what i'm trying to say. maybe something about how we should seize the day, the moment, or maybe something about avoiding ending up in a state of denial where we find out too late that we have somehow manage to seemingly cryogenically freeze ourselves while everything else has thawed with time, and altered so much that our frozen state is obsolete, and our best attempt is nothing more than a futile struggle.

but i'd say the best thing is to um, ignore that whole paragraph. i need some sleep. 

so tim and jem, stop being so jealous of me. SHE CHOSE ME. LIVE WITH IT MUAHAHAHAHA

 like my eggs done over easy and flour tortillas

10:43

one girl i know actually said she might be interested in you

43:41

lols

43:50

cos she said she likes big heads and ear piercings

43:51

hahahahah

thanks alot jem. 

anyway, here's a really cool video about an incredibly incredible and poisonous(venomous?) underwater

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHnm4I4RBMo

well let's just put aside all the evolution and creationism theories and differences, and let's all just agree that such animals deserve more dignity than just being evidence for people's theories. (HOWEVER, I SUPPORT CREATIONISM!)

sometimes i really wonder if it's possible that i remove all lines between christians and non-christians. and let friendship be friendship. no ulterior motives, like wanting to convert everything that moves to christianity.

and then i realise, regardless of public or private opinion, that wanting my friends to become christian is really concern, and sadly at times a legalistic responsibility that i have.

and then there's an issue that most non-christians(and quite a number of christians) act in ways that i cannot reconcile or ignore. at the risk of sounding self righteous and holier-than-thou, to do so seems nothing more than a betrayal of myself, of what i stand for and who i live for.

it's not so much a question of tolerance. but i see it as an issue of acknowledging who i am, of understanding the shape i have been moulded into, of how hard it was to be moulded into that shape. 

so i'll have to find a way to get my big head and ear piercings around this. 

I like the way you look

those papered memories we took

a minute, a second from the giggles

we could never hope to stifle

now we're the past, and the past is broken

yes, we're broken, and it's still unspoken

we're the future, we're apart

we're the desires of our heart

it's a crying shame; that stupid game

i took the bait; now there're only losers

the seams are undone, it seems

it teems with unbridled arbitrary unlicensed hope

it's barely bound by fraying tattered rope

i'm running, i'm hiding

from you, myself, from everything

tell me your name, i fear of you

we haven't met; i already know you

i've seen you in black and white

moving pictures, at high temperatures

i spoke to you before, my friend of uncharted future

you just didn't hear, you never strained an ear

give me your self, and i'll give you mine

we could be beautiful, i can divine

never apart, at worst a part

of a One, a palpitating heart.

we're one plus one, and still we're One

or maybe we are halves, with wedges and nooks

crannies and crooks

all along waiting; all along aching

to fit and fill, relieve and fulfill

myself, yourself and us

to write an unwritten book

then unwrite the written book

that others, mortal and now dust

have painstakingly written, 

and left for replication

no, my dear, let's not be taken

we'll write a classic, an epic storybook!

we'll be divine, we'll learn to fly

we'll make our homes up in the sky

we're no Icarus, we'll never collide

with the earth, it's unbreakable hide

*here's a rather light hearted version*

we'll be divine, we'll be so fly

we'll even do our business in the sky

poor fools who're down to earth

when they find out what hit them, they'll be unnerved!

we could be beautiful, we could be divine

my friend from uncharted future, you left me for Time

we're apart now, but soon we'll be a part

of a One, a One beating heart

just tell me your name, show me your face

step through time, then we can keep in pace

I don't know you, but I don't know me too

we'll start on the same page, and write us through

Paul Washer

ok so a few months ago i was on duty and i was checking out this site www.godtube.com. so there was this preacher called Paul Washer, there was a video of him preaching at a Youth Group. here's one of the links, http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=c1d1e567eb773a4b288d.

so anyway, what he basically does, is he goes to a youth group, and lets them know how they've gone wrong.

'i'll preach as a dying man. to dying men. and women. and youth. and i'll preach as though i will never preach again. and i will tell you things that you will misunderstand, and i will tell you things that will make you so angry with me. and i will tell you things that you will deny. and i will tell you things and you will say i have no right to tell you what i'm telling you.'

and he's not wrong man. 

he lambasts them over and over and over again about their anti nominism, and what's frightening is that i wonder whether the message is for me too. he talks about American christianity, and one of his controversial quotes

"The greatest heresy in the American evangelical and Protestant church is that if you pray and ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart, He will definitely come in."

from there he talks about how salvation is by faith and faith alone in Jesus, which is preceeded and followed by repentance, a desire not to be like the world, not to be like the great majority of christians, not to be like britney spears, but to be like Jesus Christ. so the audience starts clapping, amening.

and then he says, "I don't know why you're clapping. I'm talking about you. I didn't come here to get amens. i didn't come here to be applauded. I'm talking about you."

as much as i love Donald Miller's writing, i'd say Paul Washer preceeds him should we talk about truth. simply because he used scripture. and it's sobering. and rather shocking. 

i wonder!

i forgot i had a bunch of stuff saved in my macbook(i'm deliberately mentioning macbook because i want to let all of you know that ONCE YOU GO MAC YOU DON'T GO BACK), them being excerpts from good reads i had. so this one is from The Ragamuffin Gospel, it's really my most favourite book of the year, i'm not saying that it's my most favourite book simply because i'm mentioning it now and therefore i'm unconsciously brainwashing myself that the book is good, the book is wonderful, the book is therefore THE BEST. 

if you don't understand what i said, there's a high chance a lot of other people don't. me included.

anyway, this was the prayer of a rabbi, which he revealed as he lay on his deathbed. he said that he had never regretted a single moment of his life, thanks to God.

without further delay, here it is

Dear Lord, grant me the grace of wonder. Surprise me, amaze me, awe me in every crevice of Your universe. Delight me to see how Your Christ plays in ten thousand places, lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not His, to the Father through the features of men’s faces. Each day enrapture me with Your marvelous things without number. I do not ask to see the reason for it all; I ask only to share the wonder of it all. 

i don't wanna spoil the mood now by saying too much stuff, but i think this is something i really could learn from. to re learn once again how to be a child. a good boy, not a naughty one, of course. to take my cynicism, my skepticism, and sarcasm(the kind that is intentionally hurtful) and give their butts a good hard kick. then chuck them out of the window(remembering to open the window because it would be a pain to sweep up any broken glass).

Each day enrapture me with Your marvelous things without number. I do not ask to see the reason for it all; I ask only to share the wonder of it all.

the Hall of Shame

well just yesterday, youtube managed(for the umpteenth time) to keep me awake a few hours longer than i was supposed to. 

but anyway, on to the reason for my title. 

for those of you who want to find out how disgusting some of today's so-called Christians can actually be, you may want to visit this site

http://leavingfundamentalism.org/hallofshame.htm

there's this guy, called Peter Popoff(this surname is a LAME JOKE waiting to happen, i tell you). apparently, he was found out by a professional skeptic(can you believe such a job exists?) to be fake. one of his tricks was to feign prophecy. so he'd point out a poor(sometimes, literally) unsuspecting audience member, and start to declare, much to his/her amazement, his/her name, address, personal details, like what he/she was suffering from. 

well, James Randi used a radiowave detector, and discovered popoff's wife popping off information to him into his earphones. 

he went bankrupt shortly after that. 

and then in 2007, he came back to the commercial scene selling AUTHENTIC HOLY WATER. and it was FREE! 

so upon ordering, the person will find with it a bunch of instructions on how to properly use the holy water. like, drinking it for 5 days, after which, do not be surprised to find yourself healed of cancer! aids! necrophillia! and remember to make send a large paycheck to Rev. Peter Popoff too! as he says from an instructional video, the power does not come from drinking the Holy Water, it comes from following the instructions!

i know i'm not the only one hoping popoff well, pops off. 

desperate people suffering from cancer, have been made bankrupt because of a misguided faith used when they were at their wits' end. you know what's one thing worse than having cancer? having cancer and being a lot poorer than you already are. and that's what popoff did. 

Peter, the Holy Ghost is telling me you're a huckster and an idiot. Welcome to the Hall of Shame.

to my pentecostal charismatic(or is it charismatic pentecostals?) friends, i really am not trying to lambast you, and i know this will contribute to your chagrin. but i've given up on these signs and wonders. take a look at Derren Brown and his 'conversions' of the atheists he randomly assembles. Derren Brown is an atheist, and with manipulative words and 'mysterious' gestures, he achieves the same wonders, such as causing people to be slain in the spirit. 

The book of James tells us true faith is accompanied by works. i guess the question is what kind of works? 

would you speak in tongues on saturdays and sundays, and maybe for fifteen minutes every day as well, and for the rest of the time, a vulgarity is waiting to spring off your tongue? with the same mouth you curse man and praise God? 

i'd rather be silent. 

i know, i have generalised. i have assaulted an imaginary enemy. or maybe i haven't. i don't know, i've never met these people. 

something different

Simon

Catch your breath,
Hit the wall, 
Scream out loud, 
As you start to crawl 
Back in your cage 
The only place 
Where they will 
Leave you alone. 
'Cause the weak will 
Seek the weaker til they've broken them. 
Could you get it back again?
Would it be the same? 
Fulfillment to their lack of strength at your expense, 
Left you with no defense; 
They tore it down. 

(Chorus):
And I have felt the same as you, 
I've felt the same as you, 
I've felt the same. 

Locked inside 
The only place 
Where you feel sheltered, 
Where you feel safe. 
You lost yourself 
In your search to find 
Something else to hide behind. 

The fearful always preyed upon your confidence. 
Did they see the consequence,
when they pushed you around? 
The arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones, 
Breaking them 'til they've become just another crown. 

Refuse to feel anything at all,
Refuse to slip, 
Refuse to fall. 
Can't be weak, 
Can't stand still,
You watch your back 'cause no one will. 
You don't know why they had to go this far, 
Traded your worth for these scars, 
For your only company. 
And don't believe the lies 
That they have told to you. Not one word was true 
you're alright, you're alright, you're alright.

by Lifehouse

when i first heard this song(now on hindsight it sounds like a possible soundtrack for City of Angels) i knew it was one of those songs that was different. and so i couldn't listen out for the lyrics, mostly cos everyone around me was singing very loudly and out of tune, but not as bad as the overweight and overbearing bimbo wannabe happily screaming for Jason Wade(MARRY ME! AAAAHH!). maybe Jason Wade would be screaming(in horror) if he saw her demanding him to forfeit the rest of his life(and romantic dreams) to her. furthermore, i bet most of her screaming didn't reach Jason Wade cos it ended up in MY LEFT EAR. 

furthermore there was another guy who happily stood in front of me, conveniently being a head(a t-rex's head) taller than me. after introducing himself as Shawn/Shaun/Sean, he happily started grooving, giving an impression that he was either drunk, on drugs, mad, asking for a beating, or (most likely) all of them. it was quite funny how he looked like a happy pigeon with the unique and er, rather bollywood style of moving his head. oh well, at least he has a flexible neck. and most importantly, the opening act(Jack and Rai) managed to tire him out when Lifehouse started.

oh my, how i've digressed. deliberately.

but hey, for those of you who dunno yet, i just came back from a Lifehouse gig at Power Station at St James', my first time seeing what a club looks like. no clubbing involved, although i could say that a lot of us wanted to club Shawn/Shaun/Sean with anything and everything we could find. man, if only we had some clubbing. 

shucks, i've digressed again.

so, back, and fully devoted to Lifehouse. before Brooke Fraser came along, i think i probably thought Jason Wade wrote lyrics that i, with hot air, deemed high class enough.

this gig was really fantastic. i really wish i could have recorded it in my mind but it seems like i'm forgetting it. but lifehouse live is fantastic. really fantastic. even though they managed to attract a few psycho fans.

on a more sombre thought, i really hope i haven't been one of the arrogant weak mentioned in this song. i doubt it's being meaty beefcakes with tattoos, but more of oppressing different people, who usually are different because they are weird. well, Shawn/Shaun/Sean the pigeon was weird but he really didn't seem oppressed, depressed, and he definitely impressed nobody with his extreme enthusiasm.

after watching boy a, i'm starting to have a more empathic sympathy(or should it be sympathetic empathy?) for the outcasts. the thing is i always find myself on the apathetic side. and i really don't know how it would be like, to stand up for them, to be proud of being a weirdo's friend, to treat them the same as everyone. it's not as easy as it seems in the movies, where the weirdos are just quieter people. how easy is it when you're asked to put your arm around somebody who talks differently, has a complete set of interests that you may never have heard of, basically, someone you can't identify with? 

sometimes i wish i had cotton wool for brains. then i'd innocently befriend anyone and everyone, and treat them the same. but it's different when you want to be part of the crowd. 

so, i wonder how it would be like not to be part of the crowd. to be alone, but not lonely.